


T-Bird, 66

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Category: Thelma and Louise (1991)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25544656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Summary: Jimmy wondered, sometimes, if he wasn't enough.
Relationships: Jimmy Lennox/Louise Sawyer
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	T-Bird, 66

He still dreamed about her. 

_Them._

Flowers in the wind, women with a plan. Did they have a plan? Jimmy didn't know, he was just going by assumptions at this point. The last time he saw them, it had been with the assumption that he would never see them again, because even then, he knew that something was wrong. Their disappearance had been the first clue, and then the phone call, the money, the aching desperation in Louise's tone, a want for this to happen, and Jimmy had always had a hard time saying 'no' to people, especially Louise, who was different. She was a beautiful woman, but fierce, far from a damsel in goddamn distress. Louise had secrets, but that was alright. Jimmy had his fair share of secrets, too, and that was maybe why he never asked about those secrets. He understood that there were certain things you couldn't ask about, and so he didn't. Louise was his perfect woman, flawed, yes, but she was smart and sharp-tongued and Jimmy loved her, dearly, far beyond what he felt for the usual woman, but did she know? 

Maybe not. Jimmy wasn't good with emotions, had never been, and knew it. Maybe he hadn't showed his love well enough, didn't show his appreciate for her enough, and that was his fault. Trauma left over from his past, Jimmy's mind supplied helpfully, and he remembered a previous girlfriend saying that it wasn't his fault, wasn't something that he'd done and people needed to be understanding of that but, by god, Jimmy had sworn to love Louise but did she realize how deep this love went? He'd have done anything for her. In the end, no matter what, it wouldn't have mattered whatever damned thing had happened. That man could've been shot a thousand times and if only Louise would've told him, Jimmy would have done anything for her. Even Thelma. The thought of her, _Thelma,_ brings worry to Jimmy's mind, a pondering, a wonder. 

Were they closer than just friends? 

Perhaps, Louise didn't accept the ring, didn't accept Jimmy himself, because she and Thelma were lovers. Previously, Jimmy wouldn't have believed it, but now, he doesn't know what to believe. He lays there in a bed he once shared with Louise, his hands on his stomach, staring at the ceiling. 

Jimmy can't bring himself to go on the road, nowadays. He feels cold and numb and sick, can't bring himself to move, stuck with the knowledge that he sold them out, that maybe they could've survived if not for his weak perseverance regarding his knowledge toward their whereabouts. His friends, bandmates, are worried about him, and poor Steve is stuck having to make sure he doesn't kill himself because that's what everybody thinks he'll do. Jimmy doesn't know whether or not they're right, but he's always been afraid of death, of what lies beyond, and sometimes tries to articulate that into words, but Stevw only looks at him with thinly veiled pity and tells him to sleep. 

He does. It never works. Every time that Jimmy falls to sleep, it's to a hope that when he awakens, Louise is right next to him again, smoking and so, so far away even when she was so close because that was Louise in all her beautiful glory. They could be just an inch apart but she always seemed miles away. Jimmy wakes up, but the only person who's there is Steve, and it makes him ache internally, like all the hurts that have come from the outside are now on the inside. 

' _I'm so sorry, Louise, I love you. Loved you. I can't think of you any more but you're all that's on my mind.'_

_'Was I not enough?'_

_'Why couldn't you have just said so, my love?'_

_'God, I miss you. I miss you so much. You've been gone so long, but I can't help but feel you beside me in the deepest of my dreams.'_

Huh, he should make that into a song. 

Jimmy sleeps a lot. For weeks on end, he lay in bed, curled up on his side, deep in a daze whenever he wasn't asleep. Steve is always by his side, in a chair, pacing, reading, on the 'phone demanding to know why he was the one looking stuck looking after their depressed friend, just whatever. One day, as the light streamed through the window, Jimmy dreamed of Louise, and her hands, and her face, and her voice, and he could hear her saying things about how he'd sold her and Thelma out, how cowardly Jimmy had been, how much she hated him, and it wasn't Louise, because she wouldn't say those things even at her angriest, but it still stung. When he awoke, it was in a cold sweat and he had to rush to the bathroom to empty his stomach of what little he'd been eating. Steve had been panicking, asking what was wrong, what had happened, was he sick, but Jimmy couldn't answer. 

Flickers of Louise's face remained in Jimmy's memory. They haunted him. 

Two months after the deadly plunge, Jimmy writes a song. Steve watched him like he was crazy, but he couldn't bring himself to care as he writes. The words are barely legible, written in such a way that only Jimmy can read, but it's his best coping mechanism with this whole mess. It's his _only_ mechanism. 

He names it 'The Ride Of Our Lives.' 

And when it's done, Jimmy smiles for the first time since he last saw Louise, hair framing her face, eyes like crystals.


End file.
